Hi, I'm Rob.
Permission to Ugly Cry grew out of survival: a colorful childhood, an ulcerative colitis diagnosis at 15, liver transplant at 25, and colon cancer at 28, surgeries gone sideways, induced comas, and a hard-earned relationship with a body I have had to learn to meet with more grace and kindness than fear.
I offer an affirming space for queer and BIPOC clients, and for anyone living with chronic pain, neuroplastic symptoms or the emotional whiplash of healing.
I came to this work the long way.
For most of my life I was managing one medical emergency after another. Ulcerative colitis, anxiety, liver failure, a liver transplant, colon cancer, a colectomy, and more emergency surgeries than I like to count. Somewhere in these past twenty years I also learned, first hand, what it is to live with neuroplastic symptoms, and slowly, what it takes to turn toward them instead of away.
Then an old friend reached out to catch up over dinner. She was the executive director of the Pain Psychology Center, and she told me that the open, unguarded way I talked about my journey through cancer and transplant would make me a natural at this work. That was nearly four years ago. The time since has been full of wonder, grace, gratitude, heartbreak, and healing, both in my training and in the work I have done with my own clients.
A few stops along the way.
Proof that the kid, the patient, and the coach are all the same person. Some years were neon. Some were hospital-gown gray. All of them count.
"After nearly a year, one client began to see himself living again, despite the fear. He went on to move across the country to pursue a degree he never thought possible. His belief in himself lit something in me. I knew I had to keep doing this."
The moment I knew this was the work I was Meant forCertified by the people who created the work.
I am certified in Pain Reprocessing Therapy, the modality, by its creators. PRT is an evidence-based approach for retraining the brain's response to pain and symptoms, and it sits at the heart of how I work.
I want to be clear and honest about one thing: I am a coach, not a licensed therapist, and I have the utmost respect for my licensed colleagues in this field. That means our work is about helping you reach the goals you set for your own life and your relationship with your body. If you ever need clinical mental health care, I will say so and be happy to help you find it.
Grace first. Then the work.
My deepest hope is that you walk away from our time together connected to a part of yourself you had lost touch with, having befriended it, and able to meet your nervous system with patience even when things feel scary or too much. We work with the body, not against it. We learn to listen to it, and to thank the part of you that has been working so hard, even overworking, to keep you safe.
